Is Bigger Really Better?

I am a good looking guy, and don't have a problem getting the girls. But I do know that I'm not exactly blessed in the wiener department. I know I'm not big, but I think I more than work what I've got. I have had a couple girls in the past remark on the fact that it's not big, but I didn't let that bother me.
The thing is, my girlfriend seems to like it. At least I thought so until I looked in this drawer where she keeps all these sex toys. I didn't even know she had them til I went looking for some matches one day.
What I saw in her drawer was shocking. She has some really huge, monster size dildoes of all kinds in there. I don't think I wouldn be as bothered about it if she had at least told me about them. And when I say huge, I mean HUGE, like King Kong dick size. 12 inches and about as thick as my wrist. One has two heads. She has them in all colors and some that even vibrate. I'm thinking, WTF? Does she really put those things all the way in her? I can't see how she does it. I didn't even tell her I found her stash. I guess she's not telling me about it cause she doesn't want me to get a complex? Well, too late now babe. I can't stop thinking about those crazy freak show toys I found in her drawer. Do women really get off on huge monster dicks, and if so, how can a guy like me ever compete?

Bummed out in Boston

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Re: Is Bigger Really Better?

Well, BoiB, I'd say that it varies from woman to woman. Yes, some are size queens, but if your girlfriend isn't complaining and/or withholding sex from you, then you really shouldn't worry. Maybe she just likes to test her limits with these toys, and it has nothing to do with whether you are big enough or not. I don't think you're part of that equation, and you shouldn't worry that you're not. I'm sure you have fantasies that don't involve her, as most men do, right? Some guys fantasize about women with triple FFF boobs, but marry a normal breast sized woman. Doesn't mean that normal breasts don't turn them on, too. You just like to picture or experience something different every once in a while.
Unless she starts asking you to wear a sheath to make YOU bigger, don't be so concerned. Relax! -- Dr. Love

What's the Deal Here? Is He Cheating, or What??

My Husband and I have been together for 5 years and we have 1 child. He's a very good father and she gets all the attention she could ever want from him, but ever since she was a baby he started ignoring me. He comes home from work and she's the one he kisses and says hi to. If I don't greet him he will just ignore me. One night I tested him by not saying a word to him from the time he got home from work to when he went to bed. He didn't say anything to me except "what's for dinner" and then he thanked me for dinner.

He goes to bed asks me to rub his back so he can fall asleep and that's the most attention I get from him. He thinks I'm being too needy wanting affection from him everyday. We used to have sex 4 or 5 times a week and it slowly got weeded down to the once every 2 weeks that it is now. I tried talking to him about it and he just says he's tired. I'm 95% sure he's not cheating on me just cause he lacks the time to himself and I haven't seen any evidence. I think I make myself too available to him. If it was up to me I would have sex everyday multiple times a day.

He says he loves me and he doesn't know how to show it. He says he's not comfortable with showing affection. I asked him if he wants me to leave and he says no. I don't know what to do, I love him very much.

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Re: Is He Cheating or What?


Featured response/comment by John:

I am a 48 year old married man. The situation you described was exactly the one my wife and I shared several years ago. I worked all day, had a long commute and it seems like there were always problems. I was tired all the time. The money was tight and after working very hard everything I earned went to the kids, the house, the cars and the bills. I was working my ass off and felt like I was headed for the grave without a dime in my pocket. I guess you could call this a mild, on going, depression. As the kids got older, as my job situation changed and as we got the bills paid down, our sex life improved from once or twice a month to almost every day. Hang in there and take a look at what he is doing. Is he being rewarded for all the hard work he puts in for the family or is he being ridden around like a donkey. I know from experience that it is hard to feel like having sex when everything seems hopeless. Oh and by the way, guys don't like to talk about their feelings. The fact that he wants you to rub his back so he can sleep says volumes to me. You are still his comfort even when everything seems black.

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I got some great comments and responses on this post. Add your own advice if you have any! -- Doctor Love

Why Do Guys Always Want a Threesome? (with another girl)

Hi, Doctor Love...

I just want to know why guys are so into being with two girls (that I get) and seeing them go at it (that I don't get). My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, and the subject of getting another girl to get it on with us keeps coming up (from him). I am happy with things just the way they are, and think that this is something that has no place in our relationship. Our sex life is pretty good, so I don't see why he needs this.

He keeps saying "just do it for my birthday", and "if we can do it once, I'll get over it and won't ask again".
I'm like, so ...we're supposed to go to some bar, pick up a strange girl and come back and have sex with her, and that will be good for us? I'm not even into girls. He says,"how do you know when you never tried? You might love it". Trust me, I KNOW I don't like girls! There's not even a question about that! Him saying that makes me think he doesn't care the least bit about my feelings on this. He just wants to do what he wants to do.
Another thing is, all the porn dvds he wants to watch with me are always girl on girl stuff. I'm sick of seeing it. It does nothing for me. It's like he's trying to convert me to the idea, and it's really just putting me off more and more.
I really love my boyfriend, but if push comes to shove, I can't see myself doing this. I have a feeling that if I don't, we're gonna break up. He keeps telling me that there are other girls out there that wouldn't make such a big deal out of if. Like a hint that he'll go elsewhere.
I don't know what to do. I don't want to lose my relationship, but I don't want to do a threesome either.
How can I get him off this obsession?

C., Miami

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Re: Guys and Threesomes...

Well, it sounds to me like you're seriously between a rock and a hard place! (uh...ignore the pun! lol) This is really a tough one, and there's no clear solution that's going to please all parties involved, IMO.
Now, as to why guys like 3somes....well, one of my male friends summed it up as "that means there'll be more '-----' for me." You fill in the blank. Another mentioned being the center of all that female attention, and also all the extra body parts he gets to play with. As for why they like seeing two girls "go at it", none I asked could give me a good explanation other than "it's so freakin' HOT!" or "seeing two girls do each other is just SICK!"-- as in the 'good' version of sick. Apparently, it's a scene that's sexy to the utmost for some dudes. So....there you go.
Now, as for you contemplating doing something you're not comfortable with....I wouldn't advise it.
You'll end up resenting it, and that's not going to do you or your relationship good in the long run.
Him starting to hint to you that it's quickly becoming an ultimatum for your relationship is not good either. He's showing that your feelings are really the least of his concerns. How much does he really love you? Is this just a slick way of him being able to have sex with another girl with your permission? What if you wanted a threesome with him and a guy? How would he deal with that? Maybe you should ask him, JUST to see what his reaction would be.That might give you some valuable insight into what his true level of commitment to you is.
As for getting him off wanting this....I don't see how you can. It's like having a craving for chocolate....or something else decadent. You won't be satisfied until you get it.

I'd say you should just confront him with how you feel, how uncomfortable you are with the idea and why. Let him know you don't plan to change (unless you think you can) and then just let the chips fall where they may. If he really needs this, perhaps he should go and get it. But you don't have to be along for the ride. And as they say, if you're meant to be together, you will be in the long run anyway.

Good luck to you.....keep me posted on how this turns out.

Any of you men want to chime in here? A man's perspective would definitely help!