Hi, Dr. Love
I have this problem. My sister is getting married to a guy that she thinks is the greatest thing on earth, but I know for a fact that he's nothing but a sleaze who's going to cheat on her the first chance he gets.
I know this because he's been coming on to me and flirting with me anytime my sister is out of the room, or not around. I mean REALLY coming on! He's made really inappropriate comments about my breasts and other parts of my body, I mean really sleazy stuff...like how nice they bounce, and how he bets I have big nipples...stuff like that. It's creepy and I don't like it. He's also brushed up on me on a couple occasions while trying to pass by me in the kitchen of our house or anywhere that's close. He always says something like "sorry, but your ass got in my way", and it really pisses me off. I told my sister about it a couple times, and she got really nasty with me, saying I'm just jealous cause I don't have a fiance, and that her man would never be into me. When she lit into me like that, I was just like...okay, marry this loser, then. He's a slut and a whore, and she'll find it out soon enough.
In the meantime, how do I keep him off me? I actually hit him when he brushed up on my one time, but he just laughed and said he likes chicks that fight a little. I'm SO at the end of my rope here! I want to do something to make him leave me alone. My sister won't listen, she's such a dumb ass!
What can I do to deal with this creep?
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Re: My Sister's Fiance...
***Featured response/comment by "Anonymous"
Is it possible to set up a camcorder some place in the house where he can't see it but you can get a good view of what he's doing to you? Make sure you can clearly pick up what is being said in the video and have your sister watch it, even if you just anonymously send it to her e-mail. Otherwise, next time he does the physical thing start yelling at him and making a scene, get someone's attention. Personally, it sounds like your sister needs to get over herself and open up her eyes, but his touching you isn't right and you could technically slam him legally with sexual harassment and even put a restraining order on him. Just say you're afraid he might not stop at the sexual touching and if he's in your home, what's to stop him from not sneaking in and trying to rape you in your sleep?
***Dr. Love's response
I agree with Anonymous' suggestion of trying to get some concrete evidence on what he's doing to you. That will also help in case you do end up having to take some legal action against him. Nothing speaks louder than a video.
It's unfortunate that your sister is so wrapped up in having this guy that she keeps her head stuck in the sand, but thousands upon thousands of women will ignore big red signs that their man is no good just because they're afraid of being alone. To them, being with a creep is better than being with no one at all. It's a sickness, pretty much, and I'm sure you've seen other women out here who put up with all kinds of craziness just to be able to say "I have a husband/man".
In your case, though, you really need to take some action here. Not only try to record the acts, but start keeping a journal of all the incidents that occur so you can take them to the police. If it really gets out of order, you can get a restraining order against this man. NO ONE has the right to touch and sexually harass you anytime they want.
When he does that, also make sure he knows there are consequences. Tell anyone and everyone you know what's going on. Yell, scream, kick and make a commotion any time he does these things, like the anonymous poster said.
If you don't put a stop to it now, this guy will only escalate his aggressions towards you, especially if your sister does end up marrying this predator.
Keep me posted, and let me know how it turns out.
Anyone else have some good advice? Please comment!
My Sister's Fiance Keeps Coming On to Me!
